Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
