Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Randomize
