I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
