we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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