i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
