Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
