Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
