I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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