she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
