I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Come see our sink grown plant.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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