Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Randomize
