I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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