Kiss
Puke
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
