yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
