Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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