Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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