Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
