I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
