operation have a gay friend backfired
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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