Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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