you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
