Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
