And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
