i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
