Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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