She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So much Jack, so little girl.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
