I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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