his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
