Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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