God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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