very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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