I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
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