You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
