I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
