Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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