In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I currently don't understand fingers.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
