there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
