Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
