I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
