I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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