I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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