I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
