the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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