The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
tequila makes me forget i have legs
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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