ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
