i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
