Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
