Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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