just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
