Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
