I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
