Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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