office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
