somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
