He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
